Brittney Spears Has Something in Common with Bipolars

Well, I am still adjusting to my increase in my Neurontin. I went to bed last night at 10:30 and woke up at noon! Yikes! Talk about sleeping the day away. I am having horrible nightmares too. I used to have vivid dreams and horrible nightmares that bordered on night terrors before I went on medications for Bipolar Disorder. They went away for the most part when I went on medications, but lately I am back to strange vivid dreams and nightmares. I wish I could get rid of them. I guess as far as sleeping a whole lot - I don't really care. I feel like maybe I deserve it for all those years of insomnia and surviving on 2 hours of sleep.

Anyhow, here is my rant for the day. Being Bipolar it seems like you have to hide it. If you tell the wrong person they think you are crazy and you risk having them tell everyone they know (I know this from experience). And furthermore Bipolar Disorder falls under the Mental Illness category. I for one hate this phrase! I am not mentally ill! I am not mentally unfit! I have a chemical imbalance that I have to fix by taking a few pills. I go to therapy, yes, but so should half of the world. I guess I can't believe how ignorant some people can be. Before I was diagnosed I had a lot of friends. Actually all of them attended the church I also attended. I was VERY involved in the church. So was my spouse. The church was a VERY large church and many people knew who we were because we were so involved. I confided in one of the pastors at the church just after I had been diagnosed because I was having a hard time dealing with the diagnosis. He turned around and told everyone in the ministries both my spouse and I were involved in. It was so hurtful. We were left with absolutely no support except each other and my side of the family. Even my spouse's side of the family told everyone they knew even though we told them not to tell. Some of my spouse's siblings have since come around. One is even fully supportive now and understands my mental hospital admittance a while back, but my spouse's parents are still horrible to me, treat me like I am nuts, never listen to me when I speak and are just flat out rude. It is so difficult and it is all because people choose to be ignorant about this disorder. Depression is now a socially acceptable diagnosis, but not Bipolar Disorder. We are treated like we have the plague. Look at Brittney Spears. She had all sorts of problems in the public eye (all were common symptoms of Bipolar Disorder) and was diagnosed as being Bipolar. Now she has been treated and doing well, but her career will never be the same. So this is my warning to you, get as much support as you can, but be VERY careful who you tell. It will affect the rest of your life.

- Forever Bipolar