Depressed and Desperate

Yesterday I had a Doctors appointment and we have again changed up my meds. My new medication list is as follows:

Lithium ER 1500 mg once a day
Effexor ER 75 mg once a day
Neurontin 900 mg once a day
Ambien 10 mg once a day at night
Klonopin 2 mg once a day at night *this used to be 1 mg

It worked to keep me asleep for five hours which is the longest stretch so far. If it doesn't work my Doctor has said we will try to go over the pharmaceutical recommended maximum dosage to 20 mg of Ambien. Hopefully it won't come to that.

Other than that I received some news about the house that we are buying and in escrow on. The title is frozen with the FDIC because the former foreclosed title belonged to Washington Mutual. Now we are waiting for the FDIC to release the title and their is no time frame at all.

This has left me broken and depressed. I was already feeling depressed about our housing situation and then this came along. Everyone keeps saying don't worry everything will work out, it will be alright and god will get you through, but honestly I give up. I don't think it will get better. I am desperate, depressed and at the end of my rope.

- Forever Bipolar